


Fantasy Theatre

by NanakiBH



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Drabble Collection, Headcanon, M/M, Reunions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-27
Updated: 2015-07-31
Packaged: 2018-04-11 15:20:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 4,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4440956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NanakiBH/pseuds/NanakiBH
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of bite-sized tsukikane stories born from theories.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lie or Mistake

**Author's Note:**

> This one's from March 25th, 2015.
> 
> I'll keep updating this as long as I keep writing these little things, I guess.

There were still many gaps in his memory, but, as each one was filled, the view of who he used to be came clearer into focus.

With each day, this person who’d appeared by his side seemed like someone different. His initial apprehension gave way to a hesitant trust when he felt the honesty in his eyes, recognizing him as something, but certainly not an enemy.

It was difficult for him. It was hard to figure out who this man was supposed to be when his own identity was still a mystery. But he decided to trust him. Because, even if he couldn’t remember who he was, that man supposedly held all of his memories inside him. As long as he stayed near, as long as there were someone beside him who remembered who he used to be, then Sasaki felt comfortable with this stranger.

Bit by bit, piece by piece…

One day, simply looking at his face pulled the threads of his memories together, weaving an image of someone who seemed almost impossible to forget.

“You lied,” Sasaki said.

Turning to look at Sasaki, the fear that entered his eyes when he heard his words dissipated when he saw the fond smile that he was being given.

“You didn’t want to eat me. Not in the end, at least.” He nodded to himself, feeling sure that he was right. “I like this honest you, Tsukiyama-san.”

He didn’t need any old memories to anticipate the way he was scooped up into a tight embrace.


	2. Ultramarine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's from March 7th, 2015.

Sitting out on the veranda, resting comfortably in the arms of his companion, Sasaki’s eyes left the book in his hands and drifted to the night sky above them. Seconds and minutes lost their meaning when his thoughts began to wander. Searching for his lost memories between the stars, time slipped away and even his thoughts became lost until he was drawn back to the earth by the gentle voice of the one behind him.

“Is something the matter?”

He took a breath, fixed himself to the moment. “I was just thinking. I keep wondering what else I’m not remembering…”

Tsukiyama gave a thoughtful hum.

“I wish I could help you more, but I don’t think it would be right for me to fill in the blanks for you. There are some things that will probably be better for you to remember on your own, gradually.” As if remembering a certain troubling memory, Tsukiyama suddenly paused, becoming tense. “If you remember something all at once and feel overwhelmed by it, I’ll be here. I think it’ll be for the best if you try to keep in mind that the past is the past.”

Sasaki understood what he was trying to say. If something came back too suddenly, like that one time, then he had to remember where he was. When he met Tsukiyama again, it felt like he was reliving moments from his past. He disappeared from the present and fell into a different place. It was fortunate that the memories he recalled were fond.

“There are other things, though – harmless things,” Tsukiyama said. “I wish I had thought to ask you more about yourself when we were together back then. Things like… About your family. Where you grew up. Where you went to school. Who your friends were. If I really wanted, I probably could have obtained all of that without even having to ask you, but I guess I always realized that I should ask you personally. Yet I never did. I don’t even know what your favorite color is…” He stopped to think, snapping his fingers with a bright sound when something came to mind. “Black and white, maybe?”

Laughing softly, Sasaki nodded. “If it counts, yes, I’d say the same.”

That didn’t appear to be enough for Tsukiyama. He looked like he thought he’d failed him. Though Sasaki was disappointed that Tsukiyama couldn’t tell him those other things, he knew that there were more important things that he should try to remember first.

“It’s alright, Tsukiyama-san,” he said, feeling like he needed to comfort him. “You’ve done enough. You might not know those sorts of things, but you seem to know something else that’s really important.”

Tsukiyama shifted, looking down at him curiously. “Hm? Tell me.”

As embarrassing as it was to say out loud, Sasaki felt like it was important for him to share what he was thinking.

He opened his mouth nervously, feeling heat fill his cheeks.

“You know how to treat me.”

He couldn’t bring himself to turn around, but he could feel the warmth of Tsukiyama’s eyes on him as he was held a little more strongly.

“You’ll have to tell me all there is to know about you now so I can continue to treat you even better.”

The fact that there was even someone who would say something like that…

It was difficult to look at him, but he wanted Tsukiyama to see the gratitude that shimmered at the corners of his eyes.


	3. Carnaval

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's from February 10th, 2015.
> 
> ...Okay, this one has nothing to do with the manga and everything to do with the mobile game. (Tokyo Ghoul Carnaval)

“Stop hitting me!”

Tsukiyama looked up from his phone to notice the aggravated look on Kaneki’s face as he continued tapping and dragging his index finger across his cellphone screen. His immediate worry was that he might’ve been unintentionally bumping him with his knee while they sat together, but when his thoughts returned to the game they were both playing, he couldn’t stop himself from laughing out loud.

“It’s not funny!” Kaneki protested. “Your card keeps ricocheting into mine and taking down my HP. Even in the game, you can’t keep your hands off me.”

“Je suis désolé, my sweet,” Tsukiyama apologized. Before returning to the important task of leveling up his party full of Kanekis, he made sure to catch Kaneki’s eyes and give him a wink. “Maybe you just need to train me better.”


	4. Plea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's from February 7th, 2015.

Sasaki looked down at Tsukiyama’s servant who now laid facedown on the floor with a hole in his back, struggling to pick himself up.

With his kagune curled around his right arm, Tsukiyama spread his arms wide, his pajamas hanging loosely from his sick and frail frame.

“You see? I’ll do anything for you. If you tell me to kill, I’ll kill. If you want me to defend you, I’ll defend you with my life. If you tell me to die, I’ll die for you, too. Just…” Weakly, he lowered his arms, his mouth sharply turning down in a frown. “Whatever you do, please, don’t leave me.”


	5. Gotta Eat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, this one's from October 26th, 2014. It was inspired by [this song.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_AxLbQxVKAU)

He was gone; nothing tasted good anymore. Even the things that would’ve pleased him before failed to satisfy him now.

There had to be something.

The value of his life couldn’t possibly be determined by the existence of someone else.

Desperate and wanting something familiar, he searched and ate anything red he could find.

He was willing to make his face green with tomatoes, raw beef, cherries; anything. If his search ended without finding a single thing that satisfied him, he would eat the red from his own chest.

As expected, it was foul. He tried, though, making his eyes tear, his throat burn, his stomach twist. With his throat tight, he’d looked at the tomato in his hand as if it were a grenade and took another bite, feeling somehow like this torture was deserved.

In the end, having tried everything, having lost it all, he realized that he had nothing left.

The color completely drained from his face. Even his own red was missing.

There was only a hole.


	6. Torso's Midnight Waltz

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's from October 12th, 2014. There used to be a lot of theories about Tsukiyama possibly being Torso. We obviously know that Torso is a different person now, but I still think this is an interesting "what if" story.

Late on a cloudless night, a boy of twenty walked the street alone, heading back to his apartment. Carrying with him a bag of a few things he bought at the convenience store, he planned to spend the night studying. The coffee he bought would help him make it through an all-nighter. He reached up to bat at the black bangs that hung in front of his eyes and wondered if it were time for a haircut.

As he approached an intersection, he began to notice the unusual silence that surrounded him. Nothing appeared to be out of the ordinary, but, for some reason, he couldn’t help but feel like there was something significant about the silence. He wasn’t normally one to worry about what he couldn’t see, but he began to fear the silence and the empty street. The freedom of being alone suddenly felt like a liability.

Simply, he felt exposed.

There was no sort of reason to explain what made him feel that way. No sound alerted his senses. He didn’t see anyone when he looked behind himself.

However, when he turned back, a ghastly silhouette stood before him on the other side of the intersection; the shadow of a man or a beast, his features hidden with the moon at his back. The boy believed that he had nothing to fear on these streets, but he recognized this man for his true nature. He was not a shadow or a phantom or an illusion.

This was a ghoul.

It didn’t move; only stood and stared and watched with eyes of red that shone through the shadows. His first instinct was to scream for help, but he knew there would be no one to hear him at this hour. Inspecting the ghoul’s figure a little more closely, he noticed that he looked very thin; his dirty clothes loosely hanging from his frame, his limbs thin, his face sunken to the bone. He looked like little more than a living skeleton. For a ghoul, it looked like he wasn’t very good at feeding himself. It might not be too difficult to run away from such a pitiful-looking one, he thought. It might have looked frightening, but that was where its intimidation ended.

The boy decided that he would run. This was just an inconvenience. He would have to take the longer route home now.

Before he could move his feet, it spoke.

In a tender voice, he begged him to come near. “Kaneki-kun,” it said, “I’ve missed you so much, Kaneki-kun.”

Was it a ghoul at all? Its behavior was confusing. The boy began to wonder if he’d encountered a ghost instead.

“I looked for you everywhere. I can’t take it anymore… I’ve been strong for you – waiting only for you.”

What was he supposed to say? Ghoul or ghost, the boy didn’t know how he was meant to respond. Of course, he’d heard of stories like this. If you encountered a ghost alone at night, there was supposed to be a way to respond to them so that they would spare your life. Unfortunately, because he’d never been a suspicious person, he’d never listened to those tales of caution.

The ghoul opened both of his arms invitingly. “Praise me. Tell me how good I’ve been. If that’s too much…” His voice turned desperate, shaken with emotion. “You can hit me instead. I know I’m just a fool. Please.”

Fear returning, the boy began to back away. As he did, the ghoul came closer with a staggering step, his arms yet outstretched. If this crazy ghoul were being serious, then he could hit him and make a real run for it. One really hard punch might be able to take him down, he thought. Fear paralyzing him, his mind consumed with the many outcomes that this situation could bring, he was unable to move away. The ghoul’s red eyes held him in place as he loomed over him. The boy trembled, and, as the ghoul brought his hands toward him, he lost his grip on his bag. Its contents spilled on the sidewalk and a can rolled into the street.

He found himself enveloped in the ghoul’s embrace. He was held tightly, but only as tightly as his frail arms could hold him. Nose pressed against his chest, the boy inhaled the stale smell of his shirt.

“Kaneki-kun,” the ghoul whispered. Again and again, he whispered that name as if he were in a trance.

Quietly, he tried to raise his voice. He didn’t know how he could get himself out of this situation now, but it was worth trying to be gentle with him first. Agitating such a person seemed like it might be a bad idea. “E-excuse me… I’m sorry, but I-”

The ghoul placed a skeletal finger against his lips and hushed him. “There’s no need to apologize, Kaneki-kun. It’s my fault. I should have found you sooner. I should have helped you when I had the chance. I shouldn’t have let you go.” The eyes that looked at him seemed to see someone else. “I won’t let you go this time. We’ll be together. I’ll make sure you stay by my side forever now.”

He was crazy. Definitely, this ghoul was crazy. He didn’t act anything like the ghouls the boy had heard about who were vicious and ruthless. This man was… He was broken. There was certainly something inside of him that had been broken beyond repair. Any words he said to him would surely be ignored.

Grasping that thought in his hand, he tightly curled his fingers into a fist and threw a punch at the ghoul’s face. It connected easily and forced him back, releasing him from his arms. The ghoul stumbled back, but he didn’t react as though he’d been hit, didn’t reach up to touch his injured face. Slowly, he lifted his head and looked at him through eyes clouded by a distant memory, a terrible, hollow smile cleaving his face.

“Really… I know you could hit me harder than that. I deserve more than that after all this time.” He touched his cheek fondly, seeming to enjoy the pain. “Please, prove that it’s you. Tell me it’s really you, Kaneki-kun.”

His hands, still curled in fists, shook. “I’m… I’m not…”

The ghoul looked at him hopefully.

“I’m… not Kaneki. Please, you have me confused with someone else.” Immediately, he had the feeling that he shouldn’t have said something like that, watching the ghoul’s eyes darken. “Y-you don’t look so good. I think you should hurry back to wherever you came from, you know. Otherwise… I… I might really hurt you, you know.”

He didn’t want to kill anyone – let alone with his bare hands. The authorities would probably pat him on the back for killing a ghoul, though. Besides, it would be self-defense. No one could blame him. Nightmares might haunt him for a while, but that was all. He’d get over it. He would still have his life. That was the important thing.

He just wanted to go home and study.

The ghoul weakly dropped the hand that he’d been holding to his cheek, letting it limply fall to his side. It looked like all of his strength had left him. For a moment, the boy felt a rush of hope and relief, believing that the ghoul might have been convinced.

“You’re… not…?”

“I’m not Kaneki,” he said again, just to be sure he got it through to him.

The silence returned for a few more long, heavy seconds before the ghoul moved again. He straightened up and tried to push his hair away from his face. When it refused to stay, he gave up, but there was a new sort of sophistication about his presence. The eyes he looked at him with were clear now.

His smile had vanished entirely. “That’s what they all say,” he said, disappointed.

Before he knew what was happening, the ghoul was upon him and he was pushed down to the ground. His head smacked against the ground and he yelled, but his voice was silenced by a hand the ghoul held over his mouth. The ghoul placed a finger against his own lips to tell him to be quiet, then produced a large knife from somewhere behind him. The boy struggled, but the weight that held him down seemed much stronger than it had before, as if he hadn’t been showing him his true strength before.

When the hand over his mouth was removed, the boy opened his lips to scream again, but it was cut short as the knife was driven into his throat, slicing straight through his windpipe. As it was pulled out, a gurgling choke came up from his throat instead, followed by blood. With a sad smile, the ghoul slammed the knife into his throat over and over. His consciousness left him before it was through.

Once the head was separated from his body, the ghoul leaned back and got off of him. With a concerned expression, he picked up the lifeless body and held it close, rubbing a hand soothingly over its back.

“Shh, you don’t have to say anything, Kaneki-kun. I understand. I’m here now. We’re together, see? We’re together. I won’t let you go. I’ll take care of you. I’m all you need now.” He rested his head against its shoulder. “That taste… Yes. It’ll finally be mine now… Yes… Finally…”

Struck by a sudden idea, he sat up and began to talk excitedly. “Let’s go back home, Kaneki-kun. I have a book I think you’ll enjoy. It’s one I’ve been meaning to share with you for a while. It’ll be nice. You won’t have to do a thing.”

As he attempted to lift the body, he realized something unfortunate.

Lowering it back to the ground, he picked up his knife again. “You’re a little too heavy for me to carry you home like this, Kaneki-kun… That’s nothing to be embarrassed about, though. I’ll just have to cut off whatever’s unnecessary.”

Turning his gaze to the moon above, his smile quivered.

He sunk in the knife.


	7. The One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was from November 11th, 2014. I originally wanted to assume that Kanae was Tsukiyama's younger brother. lol I edited the traces of that out of it now. There are some differences between this and canon now. (Like how I greatly underestimated Tsukiyama's depression.) Kanae's personality also isn't perfect here because he had only just showed up at the point when I wrote this. I'm still waving a flag for Kanae/Mutsuki, though.

“He’s a vision; an unparalleled beauty,” Kanae told him, lifting his hands up high in praise of the beautiful creature he had discovered. “I feel like I may finally understand, Shuu-sama. This is what it feels like to find the ultimate experience, isn’t it?”

Realizing that Kanae was saying something to him, Shuu took his eyes from the book in his lap and set down his coffee. “Oh… Well, you can only determine that for yourself.”

“What was it like when you met Kaneki-kun? Was your heart pounding? Did you immediately know that he was the one?”

Kanae seemed to have an interest in this all of a sudden. Just a while ago, he tried to tell him to give up on Kaneki, insisting that he move on with his life and ‘let ghosts rest’. Tsukiyama knew better than to give up when he felt so close, though. He worked hard to have him, so he couldn’t stop hoping that they would see each other again.

Chie brought him some photographs, then a sample of his scent, and all the pieces had fallen into place after that.

He sensed that Kanae would only continue to interrupt him if he didn’t tell him his thoughts.

“I was drawn to his scent first, then to his taste, and now… Things are complicated now. I want all of him. If you feel that way about the one you’ve found, I think you would know. You may feel excited now, but if it’s true, you’ll probably end up feeling… Overwhelmed and exhausted.”

Kanae’s shoulders sunk. “That’s true,” he said quietly, pacing in a circle on the study’s carpet. “You were rather depressed and confused for a time, but you seem so focused now. Is it wrong for me to feel envious of such an ordeal?”

Yes. Also, he was getting on his nerves. He had been through a lot lately and he was just trying to relax. Why was Kanae always like this?

“Who is it, anyway?” he asked. He didn’t particularly care, but if Kanae expected him to give his opinion, then he should at least know who he was talking about.

Grinning, Kanae stopped his pacing. “You know about his squad, right?”

Shuu narrowed his eyes, already feeling where this was heading. “Yes. They’re all modified humans. Don’t tell me you’ve fallen for the scent of one of them.”

Kanae looked as though he’d been wounded. “Is that bad?”

“It’s dangerous.”

“But you and Kaneki-”

He cut him off with a loud sigh and rubbed the bridge of his nose between his fingers. “I never intended for that to become what it did. That’s not to say that I regret becoming involved with him, but there were certain risks that I was unaware of. You’re going into this knowing that you have an interest in an investigator. Are you crazy?”

He waited, very curious to see what Kanae had to say for himself now.

“Perhaps I am.”

Shuu threw his book at him, pegging him right in the shoulder. “You’re an idiot, aren’t you?” He pointed at the book on the carpet where it lay open, wrinkling the pages. “Pick that up.”

“I-I’m sorry, Shuu-sama,” Kanae apologized. He bent down to pick up the book and nervously returned it. “I’m simply being foolish, aren’t I? I’m being much too presumptuous. An investigator… Y-you’re right.”

He stared. It was too easy to tell when Kanae was saying things just to back his way out of a corner.

“Which one is it?” he asked.

Startled by his question, Kanae’s shoulders jumped. “Um… Th-the one with the eye patch… The cute boy with the sea-colored hair.”

That was a fair choice. When Shuu met him, he felt something that reminded him of Kaneki.

“You noticed his female scent, correct?”

Kanae nodded, giving a small smile. “Y-yes. Like Kaneki.”

“What if I told you that he was really female - that he smells that way because he has a woman’s body under his clothes? Would that be enough to deter you?”

Visibly surprised, Kanae paused and put his fingers to his chin. “I… Don’t think so. Is that really true?” he asked. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, considering the way he smells. I mean, that is to say, I’m not surprised, but I am… Just a little. Female flesh is more tender, ja? That just makes him seem more delicate and lovely, like a rose. He has such an exquisite form, possessing the best of both worlds; ghoul and human, male and female.” Each rapidly fired word rose in volume, but, as he was just about to reach a crescendo, he stopped again, eyes widening. “Shuu-sama, what an incredible revelation this is!”

It appeared that his attempt to discourage him had failed. It was too late. Kanae was unstoppable now.

Exasperated, Shuu asked, “Do you intend to eat him or not?”

Predictably, Kanae remained quiet, needing more time to think about it. It was a very telling response. He was trying to use his experience with Kaneki as a guidebook for his own, but he didn’t know enough about his relationship with Kaneki to understand that things weren’t as simple as eating him or not eating him.

Kanae did seem to understand one thing, though - that the right one could only be found by trusting more than just his stomach.

Shuu laughed as Kanae continued to ponder and mutter frantically to himself. Crossing one leg over the other, Tsukiyama found the page in his book where he left off and picked up his coffee.

“I see.”

Perhaps Kanae had found 'the one’, after all.


	8. Resonance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost forgot about this one. It's from June 21st, 2015.

His presence had seemed to pacify him, soothing his rampaging cells, calming his wild kagune. As it retreated, revealing his face, Sasaki had felt something stir within his chest; a distant memory that awoke in the very deepest part of his heart, that refused to stay hidden.

It was his memory, but he didn’t remember it. He wasn’t the one who forged it. And yet, for some reason, Kaneki didn’t speak up or step forward to claim it.

He was left at a loss, staring, hopelessly wondering and simultaneously certain of who it was who rested before him.

“Tsukiyama… san…”

Right. That was what the files said.

That didn’t explain why the name came so naturally from his lips.

That stir became a tremble that shook his fingers as he lifted a hand to cover his mouth. He didn’t know why, but he felt responsible for this. Like, because he neglected this person, because he wasn’t looking, he had turned into this when his back was turned, while his eyes were closed. That tremble became a quake that split a fissure through his heart, and, like that, he lost the strength in his legs and fell to his knees in front of him.

As his mind reeled, Tsukiyama inched closer and wrapped his arms around him, loose, holding him like something breakable.

Maybe he was.

“I know what it’s like now. It’s really hard to control it.” Against his cheek, Kaneki felt his smile. “You really are strong.”

He didn’t understand how Tsukiyama could speak to him as if he had just seen him yesterday. He wasn’t the same person anymore, but he couldn’t ignore how grateful he was to accept his empathy. There weren’t many who were able to spare him such words, who understood what it was like to be him - whoever he was.

“I’m not who you think I am,” he said, frustrated by how quiet and uncertain his words came out sounding. “I’m not Kaneki. I… I’m sorry. My name is… Sasaki. Haise.”

“Yeah,” Tsukiyama said softly, pressing his nose to his shoulder, breathing. “I could tell that you were different now. But that’s alright. I don’t think I’m the person you remember, either.”

He didn’t understand why his eyes were filling with tears or why he felt so happy.

“Sasaki-kun…” When he pulled back, Sasaki could see the warmth hidden in his tired eyes. “‘Shuu’. 'Shuu’ will be fine, then. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”


	9. Coincidence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's from July 30th, 2015. This is what chapter 38 made me imagine.

“Ah- I’m sorry. Pardon me-” The moment Sasaki realized who he had bumped into, he stepped back to have a better look at him. “You’re that person from the other day, aren’t you?” Thankfully, he hadn’t made him lose his balance, otherwise he would’ve felt double-bad, considering the way they had met the first time.

The man nodded slowly with a strange expression, like he wasn’t sure how to respond. Perhaps he didn’t also recognize him.

“Sorry again,” Sasaki said, backing up a little more to give him room to breathe. He looked like he needed it. “I guess this is sort of awkward, isn’t it? Uh… I’m the one who helped you up the other day.”

He nodded again, more confidently this time, and chuckled nervously to himself. Something about the way he was acting seemed kind of suspicious, but there wasn’t any reason for Sasaki to think so, so he let it go just as easily as the thought had entered his head. The others weren’t with him, but he had the feeling he didn’t need to worry around him, no matter how oddly he acted. Some people just had trouble talking to strangers.

“Yeah, that was me,” was all he said.

He didn’t add anything else, but he didn’t step away either, and as the seconds accumulated, Sasaki realized that he must have been waiting for him to say something.

“Oh, are you alright? You didn’t get hurt, did you?” he asked. After all, he’d fallen the last time they met. Sasaki felt really concerned for him after he watched his caretaker help him back into his wheelchair. Though he seemed to be standing just fine on his own now, he did look pale and peaked, like he wasn’t eating properly.

It might’ve been rude to ask him something like that. With a troubled face, the man looked away, his dark hair falling in front of his eyes.

“I… haven’t been in the best health lately.”

Their conversation was only getting more bleak. He’d really screwed up. Quickly, he had to think of something to turn things around.

It hadn’t felt right to let him leave last time without making sure that he was really okay, so he wanted to make up for it. Based on the way he was acting, too, it seemed like this person didn’t want to let him go so easily. At the moment, he didn’t seem to be very good with words, but he seemed like someone who was desperate to talk with someone else.

“I’m having a break right now,” Sasaki said. “Would you like to join me for some coffee and chat for a while? I was just on my way to a coffee shop I’ve been frequenting recently that serves some really excellent coffee.”

For some reason, he felt relieved when he saw the hint of a smile on the man’s face.

“I would like that,” he said, some warmth returning to his pale features. “I had that in mind as well.”


End file.
